No, I lied, it can get worse

[amanda_lodden]

Mom does not have a hole in her heart. They did the sonogram and found enough evidence to encourage them to do the surgery to repair the hole. After two and a half hours of hunting for it (including swapping out the little camera for a bigger scanner), they concluded that there just wasn't one, and sewed her leg back up. This leaves the number of possible causes for her continued swelling and repeated strokes at zero. Well, obviously not zero since there is a cause SOMEWHERE, but not one that can be defined with current levels of medical science.

We had a very long talk with Mom's doctor tonight. This is the same man who spent the weekend before Christmas tearing through her old test results looking for anything at all that they might have missed. It's also the same man who has tried for over five years to get her to pay more attention to her blood sugar levels, including sending her a personal letter pretty much pleading with her. If there is anything that I truly, fully believe her doctor to be, it's thorough and caring. And his professional, caring opinion is:

They can't fix her.

There's an outside possibility that we could buy her a little more time by sending her someplace like U of M. She'd be subjected to a battery of uncomfortable or downright painful tests, and then IF they found anything, the treatment would likely involve more pain for her. If all goes well, she might get a few more months out of it. Her quality of life during the tests and treatment and few extra months would not be high.

The other option is to let her be comfortable for the next few days. She has a urinary tract infection at the moment (a recurring one that has repeatedly proved extremely difficult to treat and thus far impossible to fully eradicate). That alone could kill her if it were not treated. However, as deaths go, it's not all that painful, especially when combined with her predilection for not wearing her oxygen tubes like she's supposed to. She will sleep. Then she will sleep more deeply. Then she will just not wake up. At any indication of pain whatsoever, she will receive medications to make it go away, so that her sleep will be 100% comfortable.

Tonight, I gave the order to stop her antibiotics, and to stop fighting with her over the oxygen (if she wishes to wear it, she will not be denied it, but no one will make her put it on again). We will talk formally with the hospice people tomorrow, but her doctor estimates that she's got a few days. Depending on what her insurance will pay for, she might not even have to be moved from the room she's in (which is one of the nicer rooms of the hospital).

Comments

[twoofdtm.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that it's not something fixable.

*hugs*

Chris, Connor, and I are thinking of you.

[(Anonymous)]

If you need us to pick up some take out for you, take you out to dinner, or run an errand, just let us know.

Chris and I are both taking classes now, so we will have to fit it in, but he is mostly free in the day, and we are both around on weekends.

I'll call to follow up with you.

[renniekins.livejournal.com]

Wow, my sympathies.

[(Anonymous)]

if you need any thing just call.. i can follow orders with the best of
them... just ask!! love your sis in law lisa


p.s. still no cap key...

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I talked to pusifoot last night about you and your mom. It really is hard to be dealing with someone who is NOT going to get better and to add the challenge of the occaisional visitor who doesn't see there really IS a problem...just maddening. so hard to deal with.

I helped take care of my stepmom, and coordinated her hospice care...so my heart goes out to you.