The universe conspires against me

As is typical of me whenever I'm about to leave for a vacation, I'm desperately trying to get as much done as I possibly can. I always want to leave with nothing left on my plate or my shoulder (though I have never in my life achieved "nothing left"), so that there's less weighing me down for the trip and less waiting for me when I return.

Mostly, this is about tying up loose ends, and finishing up small things that prevent me from drawing that lovely line through an item in a To-Do list. The big, time-consuming projects are not the ones that get attention in the days before a vacation, unless they've reached a crisis point.

However, I've been stymied on most of my projects. The basement is still a see of things I need to sort through and either get rid of or put away properly (despite saying last December that I had a deadline of 12/31/08), and it seems like every time I wade down there to deal with one box, I end up with two more instead of one less (HOW? How can this be? It all came out of one box! I took some of the boxes away, even! How can I possibly have more than I started with???) I attempted to do a few small sewing projects (in part so that I could pack the repaired items for the trip), only to discover that the sewing machine, after being moved repeatedly, now lives in a place that is nowhere near an electrical outlet. Now I need to locate an extension cord (or two; I'd need a heavy-duty one in order to do it with a single extension cord) before I can try again. Every attempt to reduce the amount of paper on my desk(s) ends up with more paper being generated. At the office, I sort of understand it, because I end up tracking down receipts to be added into the accounting program before I can balance a statement. At home, I don't know what happens. I think that the paper gets together and has an orgy when I'm not there, and produces little baby papers. It's the only explanation.

And of course, I'm trying to get done is the last bits of paperwork regarding Mom's estate (which is not the same as crossing off "Close out Mom's estate" from the list; this is just "get the paperwork to the lawyer so he can worry about while I'm gone.) Mom left me one final "Fuck You"-- I have four copies of her will (an original and three xerox copies). What I do NOT have is a single signed copy of her will. There are witness signatures, even-- but not hers. This makes dealing with the estate without having to go through the probate court (which is my goal) nearly impossible, unless I can magically turn up a copy with her signature.

The thought has occurred to me that since the witness signatures are there, a simple solution would be to pick up a pen and sign her name. However, I've never been very good at her signature, and the total of her estate is worth about $200, which is just not enough for me to risk forgery charges over. I don't care as much about the money as I do about the closure.

I also can't find the deed for the cemetery plot that she wanted to be buried in (her ashes, that is). I can find the deeds for my great-great-grandparents' plot, but not the one for my great-grandparents, and the plot she claims the family already owned would have been bought at the same time. I'm an only child, Mom was an only child, and my grandmother's only sibling died at the age of ten (and is buried on the other side of the plot in question, which is how I can narrow down the purchase date), so the likelihood of it being in another relative's possession is approximately nil.

Something tells me that I'm not going to get very much finished off before I leave.

The universe conspires against me

As is typical of me whenever I'm about to leave for a vacation, I'm desperately trying to get as much done as I possibly can. I always want to leave with nothing left on my plate or my shoulder (though I have never in my life achieved "nothing left"), so that there's less weighing me down for the trip and less waiting for me when I return.

Mostly, this is about tying up loose ends, and finishing up small things that prevent me from drawing that lovely line through an item in a To-Do list. The big, time-consuming projects are not the ones that get attention in the days before a vacation, unless they've reached a crisis point.

However, I've been stymied on most of my projects. The basement is still a see of things I need to sort through and either get rid of or put away properly (despite saying last December that I had a deadline of 12/31/08), and it seems like every time I wade down there to deal with one box, I end up with two more instead of one less (HOW? How can this be? It all came out of one box! I took some of the boxes away, even! How can I possibly have more than I started with???) I attempted to do a few small sewing projects (in part so that I could pack the repaired items for the trip), only to discover that the sewing machine, after being moved repeatedly, now lives in a place that is nowhere near an electrical outlet. Now I need to locate an extension cord (or two; I'd need a heavy-duty one in order to do it with a single extension cord) before I can try again. Every attempt to reduce the amount of paper on my desk(s) ends up with more paper being generated. At the office, I sort of understand it, because I end up tracking down receipts to be added into the accounting program before I can balance a statement. At home, I don't know what happens. I think that the paper gets together and has an orgy when I'm not there, and produces little baby papers. It's the only explanation.

And of course, I'm trying to get done is the last bits of paperwork regarding Mom's estate (which is not the same as crossing off "Close out Mom's estate" from the list; this is just "get the paperwork to the lawyer so he can worry about while I'm gone.) Mom left me one final "Fuck You"-- I have four copies of her will (an original and three xerox copies). What I do NOT have is a single signed copy of her will. There are witness signatures, even-- but not hers. This makes dealing with the estate without having to go through the probate court (which is my goal) nearly impossible, unless I can magically turn up a copy with her signature.

The thought has occurred to me that since the witness signatures are there, a simple solution would be to pick up a pen and sign her name. However, I've never been very good at her signature, and the total of her estate is worth about $200, which is just not enough for me to risk forgery charges over. I don't care as much about the money as I do about the closure.

I also can't find the deed for the cemetery plot that she wanted to be buried in (her ashes, that is). I can find the deeds for my great-great-grandparents' plot, but not the one for my great-grandparents, and the plot she claims the family already owned would have been bought at the same time. I'm an only child, Mom was an only child, and my grandmother's only sibling died at the age of ten (and is buried on the other side of the plot in question, which is how I can narrow down the purchase date), so the likelihood of it being in another relative's possession is approximately nil.

Something tells me that I'm not going to get very much finished off before I leave.

... and then some

.. and the printer doesn't want to consistently print. And the stack of things that I *did* manage to print, I put... somewhere. I can't figure out where, though.

Unfortunately, I kind of need those things I printed, so that I can move money around where it should be, so that payroll doesn't bounce.

[Note to the employees that I know read this: your checks would be fine, no need to panic. The bank would just tag us for the overdraft fee. And I really, really, really hate paying overdraft fees.]

... and then some

.. and the printer doesn't want to consistently print. And the stack of things that I *did* manage to print, I put... somewhere. I can't figure out where, though.

Unfortunately, I kind of need those things I printed, so that I can move money around where it should be, so that payroll doesn't bounce.

[Note to the employees that I know read this: your checks would be fine, no need to panic. The bank would just tag us for the overdraft fee. And I really, really, really hate paying overdraft fees.]